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When Friends and Sibs Collide

avatar_katani.jpgMy older sister Kelley is really special to me. She is one of the funniest and most honest people I know, no question. But, Kelley has autism, so it’s harder for her to know when the BSG and I need some quality BFF time and leave us alone.

It’s part of who she is, and I wouldn’t change her for the world, but sometimes she can be sooo frustrating! And you know what? Autism isn’t fully to blame—I bet tons of girls out there have siblings who like to be included in private friend stuff. I mean, I’m glad Kelley likes my friends, but they’re MY friends. Sometimes, I just want to be with them on my own, without my sister following us around.

And then I have the opposite problem with my other sister, Patrice. She’s in high school, and she sometimes acts like she OWNS our house. Like she’ll come into the room where the BSG and I are chilling and totally kick us out! Hey, other people live here too, Miss High School Attitude.

So what’s the Kgirl solution? Let it go, and then talk it out. It’s not easy, but when Kelley or Patrice make me really annoyed while my friends are around, I try to just let it go for the moment and talk to them about it later, in private. That way nobody’s feelings get hurt.


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It's like siblings always have a knack for interrupting quality BFF time. How do you deal?
TTYL,

Comments (184)


Jan 2, 2009
callie306 writes: Comment
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 my brother is 5 years older! so when ever any of my fiends would come over, they would be all like awww your so lucky! and im like y? and then they would tell me that my brother is cute! and im like 2 2 gross! the way how i dealed with it was i would tell my brother the girls and he would kinda like talk to them and say like he's to old and he would point cute dudes in our grade. my brother is realy nice about it to them

0 votes 
Dec 30, 2008
XV238 writes: Comment
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 when i have a problem with my brothers i listen to my kind of music or write in beaconstreetgirls 

0 votes 
Dec 26, 2008
Bre-Bre13 writes: Comment
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I have an annoying little sister who always barges into my business. She always gets on my nerves. I try to ignore her somtimes but when she ticks me off we get in a fight. We havent got in a fight for a while now so i guess she is growing up a little. thats great.

0 votes 
Dec 21, 2008
courtneybeth writes: Comment
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 my younger brother has Autism too. He's 8 yrs old but he's non-verbal (he can't talk). whenever I have friends over, he comes barging into my room because he doesn't understand that we want to be alone.

0 votes 
Dec 15, 2008
sugarsweet writes: Comment
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i so agree with that!

sugarsweet

0 votes 
Dec 15, 2008
sugarsweet writes: Comment
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I so know what you mean, I have a younger brother and its like he controls where my friends and I can talk. Your right after your friends leave you need to peacefully tell them how you feel. You'll feel better and your sibs will understand!

Sugarsweet

0 votes 
Dec 12, 2008
SparkyMooMoo writes: Comment
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I have an older brother who is mainly on the computer and he doesn't care about me having friends over so he is always pretty cool

0 votes 
Dec 11, 2008
Vampirechica17 writes: Comment
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I either find something fun for my sisters to do while I hang with my friend, or I let them so something with my friend and I, though I Totally know how you feel! They've embarassed me sooooooo many times! But I still love them, I mean, hey, we're family.

0 votes 
Dec 3, 2008
roxy10124u writes: Comment
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 i have quite a few siblings and believe me i understand what ur going through.... i have family members that range from autistic to bipolar...and eberywhere in between.... the best way to deal with ur problem is to politely tell ur sister that u love her and enjoy being around her but that u and the bsg need some time to urselves....

1 vote 
Dec 3, 2008
ProKid writes: Comment
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 I have a brother and sister but they have their rooms each and don't bother me at all. Our family just does their own things and we never even sit at the table to eat together.

But, talking about your problems now, I think maybe you can find a place to get together, somewhere where your sibs cant get to you. Maybe at another friend's house? Public places work fine too. And maybe for someone like Kelley, you can always try to get her to do something else, or promise to play with her a while than leave you alone.

They have their advantages and disadvantages. I'm the youngest in my whole family, which also means age distance (etc, their teens and I'm still a kid) Sometimes I wish I could grow up faster

1 vote 
Dec 2, 2008
orbitgirl writes: Comment
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i have 3 sisters 17 14 and 13 .....and im 10 its not fair they get to do what ever they want an i dont.....they always tell each other secrets and it bugs me caus ei never get to know anything
1 vote 
Dec 1, 2008
kays kool writes: Comment
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Every time my BFF or my F comes over my sister always bugs me it gets so anoying but i have to deal with it so i just yell or get my mom or slam the door so she can't come in my BFF's or F's probably get anoyed but they are awsome cause they help me get rid of my sister witch i need somtimes.

1 vote 
Nov 29, 2008
Go to GymnastChic32414's personal page

I have no idea...... i am 1 of 6

1 vote 
Nov 27, 2008
skyreader writes: Comment
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  This seems to happen with all my friends when they come to my house, my little sister has to be friends with them. It's really annoying.  What I try to do now is just ignore them. Or start talking about something my sister doesn't know or care about.

1 vote 
Nov 21, 2008
chipen writes: Comment
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katani, 

 Well make a club in  your room and put a sighn that said "NO SIBS" if they want to be in the club tell them  that you need sometime to your self and need to be alone! if thay dont leave you alone then tell

                                                                         

1 vote 
Nov 6, 2008
awesomej9 writes: Comment
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I tell my mom to get them away, but they still follow, it's pretty annoying

1 vote 
Oct 19, 2008
madeline1999 writes: Comment
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Talk to her about it tell her it is annoying,BUT handle it gentely.But if she says no DON'T get even tell her she can listen but not bud in.

1 vote 
Sep 11, 2008
purplebeaver writes: Comment
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 I have a friend who is super sensitive. I can't mention the word stressed or else she starts crying and won't talk to me for a week. I told her I was fed up after the 8 th time she did it she said she knows and would stop. She said that  about a week ago and today she started crying . What should i do

1 vote 
Aug 29, 2008
petersburg8 writes: Comment
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fhokeygrl: thanx for the advice.school starts next week so ill try that

1 vote 
Aug 29, 2008
fhockeygrl writes: Comment
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petersburg8,

Go up to her and ask why she did it. Keep asking questions. If she still dosen't tell the truth, mabey you consider your friendship. If she is willing to cheat to get a prize, AND OF YOU, she may not be the kind of friend for you.

fhockeygrl

1 vote 
Aug 22, 2008
princez mose writes: Comment
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 dear katani,

            tell your sibling the truth that she/he is interrupting your quality time with your bff,but when your sibling tells your mom about it and your mom gets angry with you just ignore them and I know they'll understand it someday.

1 vote 
Aug 20, 2008
petersburg8 writes: Comment
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i know this person and we have been friends for ever. but at r school we had an auction and we both wanted.the griel could only spend 60.00 on it but i could spend 70.so i did it and the girl wanted it so bad but i did 70 anyway because i wanted it but not to be mean. but when i was with my friend she arased my thing and rote 50 for me.my mom saw and she said that if she did it againshe would tell the girls mom. i heard and at scholl when i asked she said that it was an acsident becus she was talking to someone else. i new she was lying but know school is starting again and we r in the same class. how am i going to tell her with out hurtin her feelings help ?!?!?!?!?!

1 vote 
Aug 17, 2008
SweetPanda11 writes: Comment
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hey vanessa1. what i think u should do is like onclude them in something that is good for their age. thell probaly forget about u. hers the chance for your run!

1 vote 
Aug 17, 2008
SweetPanda11 writes: Comment
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th esibs usually ask what were doin. i just tell them to leave, and they do. we have a BUNCH of things they can do in the basement. adn anyways, my bff has a sister the same age as my sister, and they both are bff's 2!

1 vote 
Aug 17, 2008
disneystar2 writes: Comment
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     Try to include your sib in at least one game. Once she/he seems satisfied- don't worry they eventually will- distract them gently with something else they can do on their own!

1 vote 
Aug 16, 2008
calistar12 writes: Comment
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animal girl thats tuff! well i would say ask ur bro but hes probly a jerk like most bros but not 2 steryotype or anything but..idk wat u should do maybe ask him out cuz its ur guysses life so LET$ M@|< e it  rock! lol JK well do wat u think u should like do cuz u r confident bout urself it shouldALLLLLL work out! duhhh like evy1 downs that!

1 vote 
Aug 15, 2008
Vanessa1 writes: Comment
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 I have two cousins and they really get on my nerves what should i do?

1 vote 
Aug 15, 2008
dramaqueen15 writes: Comment
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 ur friend should stick up  for u

1 vote 
Aug 14, 2008
RW5612 writes: Comment
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I have a slightly different problem. I'm frinds with a girl O., and her little sister, C., is always hanging with us. But me and C. actually have a lot in common, and I want to hang with her more often and sometimes separatly. But I can't just call up O. and si, "Hi, O. Can I talk to C.?" and invite C. over without O. What can I do?

1 vote 
Aug 13, 2008
SportyGal101 writes: Comment
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 I pull my mom aside and ask her if she can talk to my sister for me.I'll let my sister hangout with her for a while,but when I want alone time my mom is there for me.

1 vote 
Aug 12, 2008
G515 writes: Comment
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 OMG My friend has a little sister who always tells her mom I was mean to her, and so I have to apologize. She is also treated like a baby and spoiled, so when she gets made at me, my friend takes her side. Plz help!!!!

1 vote 
Aug 8, 2008
squishy writes: Comment
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 im the oldest of 8 kids and someone always wants to be with us! the only way we can know for sure that no one is listening in on our conversations is if we stand in the middle of the field in my backyard or go on a walk by ourselves (someone usually wants to come too though)

1 vote 
Aug 7, 2008
Go to JonasBrotherlover101's personal page

 i was over at my friends house the other day and her cousin was there. she was hanging all over me and i was getting really anoyyed. i came home and told my sister. later i thought about how i like to hang with her friends. am i that anoyying? so i ran into her room and apologized. she just laughed so hard and said i wasnt anoyying at all. i went back in my room with a huge sigh of relief. i will try not to ever hang on her friends cuz it can get super anoyying so think before you act.

1 vote 
Aug 5, 2008
animalgrl236 writes: Comment
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My brother's friend and I like each other, we car-pool and we always tease each other, the problem is he's my brother's friend, he's also my friend's brother. Aaak! Help! 

1 vote 
Aug 5, 2008
supgirls writes: Comment
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 hey this is your girl sup girls my brother used to always do that like 1 time i was on the phone with my friend and he had the other phone  and he put it up to the radio and it was really loud and i couldnt hear what my friend was saying but im not talking bad about him cause he passed away in january of08

4 votes 
Aug 4, 2008
Lani6 writes: Comment
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hi

1 vote 
Aug 1, 2008
laroca17 writes: Comment
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what i do is i yell at them to leave me alone. and drag em out.   (with their hair)jk

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Aug 1, 2008
CatsAndDogs101 writes: Comment
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The same thing happens to me when my friends come over.  My older brother kicks us out of the family room or living room, ALL THE TIME! Then, with my younger sister, she ALWAYS wants to play with us! Every sleepover I've had with my BFFs, she has had to be involved. Playing with us, talking with us, doing makeovers with us; sometimes enough is enough, you know?  But my parents always force me to have her hang out with us.  Sometimes I'm okay with it (if she isn't embarrassing me!) but most of the time, I'm not.  I want to talk to her and my parents but she has really sensitive feelings and I don't want her to start crying.  I love her and all, but like I said, sometimes ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  Any advice on how to get out of this jam?

 

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 31, 2008
Mullarkeygirl2 writes: Comment
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 same thing with me whenever My friends come over to my house my big sister follows me and my friends and listens to our conversations! you should tell your sister she should get friends of her own that she could hangout with.

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 31, 2008
JoyR22 writes: Comment
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Ricky: That happens alot with older sis's. The only way I stop it is talking to them. Because they're older, they like understand. Hope that helps!

 

-JoyR22

1 vote 
Jul 31, 2008
JoyR22 writes: Comment
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Squishy: Consolt your Mom and tell her you would like an hour of "alone time" with your big family an hour is all you can get. But a good idea is to tell your sibs to make up a play and then when they're done, you can go watch it! But when they're busy making up the play, u and ur BFF can talk or play a game of ur own!

-JoyR22

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 30, 2008
Go to preatybutterfly7's personal page

 

 hi did you go to littel flower 11 if you did not go

 go now she is really nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 30, 2008
ricky writes: Comment
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 well i have a twin and a older sister so my twin is sorta of my best frien and allof our friends r friends with both of us but my older sister just drivez me insane ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 29, 2008
green flower writes: Comment
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siblings get annoying and sometimes you love em. you should just tell them when their bothering you. say it politely so you don't hurt their feelings.

                          -green flower

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 29, 2008
Go to preatybutterfly7's personal page

hi everyone my cousin is a very good friend for me and

 she is smart, preatty,and nice if you wanna meet her go to find friends and type littleflower11 she is cool and special bye bye !!!!!! 

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 29, 2008
smockgirl writes: Comment
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 well i would talk to your parents and i completly understand the only diference is my sisters dont have autism, anyway if talking to your parents dosent work talk to your sister in a sister meeting so what i mean is take both of hem in a room and tell them both how you feel and they can tell you there feelings and what they think too and you never know you might just help all there of you do this once a week if posible and just maybe add your parent in to the mix!! and i understand compleatly

p.s orry 4 the spelling

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 29, 2008
dance_read_run writes: Comment
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 i tell my siblings i will play a game with them or tack them on a walk if they will leave my friend and i alone. it doesn't always work but its worth a try

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 28, 2008
candy luver 08 writes: Comment
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 simply sit them down and let them know that you live together and that you need time to spend with your bff of course that would never work with my sibling but try it and see how it goes

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 28, 2008
tink_dar_12 writes: Comment
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 well you should ask your friends if the barging in is bugging them to and if they say it is then talk to your sisters and if they really cared they would stop.

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 28, 2008
bribri8907 writes: Comment
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 im good at giving advice 

 

 

3 votes 
Jul 28, 2008
squishy writes: Comment
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 what do you do, im one of 8 kids and they are ALWAYS around when me and my friends are trying to hang out!

 

 

 

 

3 votes 
Jul 28, 2008
JoyR22 writes: Comment
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When my sisters bother my BFF's and me I tell them, If we can have 3 hours of "alone time" then we'll will play with you! If ALLWAYS works! If you have questions about coping with big sibs or little sibs, ask me!!!

 

Need Advice? ASK ME!!!

-JoyR22

 

 

 

 

1 vote 
Jul 28, 2008
mya_bella writes: Comment
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hey Gem........You should love ur Lil sister.....think about all the good things about her......maybe u could spend more time with her instead of being with ur friends........she might not be listening to people because she wants to play with u and ur friends.......maybe she just wants to hang out in her room......maybe u should let her do her things and go somewhere else with ur friends....like in ur backyard or one of ur friends house.........hope this works.....

bye from alwayz :myabella

1 vote 
Jul 28, 2008
mya_bella writes: Comment
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hey scuber diver...............Maybe u could tell him that its girl stuff.......and ask why he likes spying on u and ur bff.......i think boyz r just like that.......if it doesnt work just tell ur parents about it.....if that still doesnt work just hide somewhere with ur buddy where ur bro wont find u.....maybe you could go to ur bffs house and talk there........good luck

from alwayz :myabella